Man… thank you for being real. That took guts to write, and even more to live through.
What you shared brought me back to my own loss. Different details, same kind of heartbreak. That fear of seeing them one last time, wondering if you can handle it, hoping someone else makes the call for you. I felt that deep.
But you showed up. You did not run. You faced it head on, even when everything in you was screaming not to. That is strength most people will never understand.
You honored your daughter. And the way you told it—raw, unfiltered—it matters. It hits people right where they live.
You are not alone in this. And you are helping more folks than you know just by telling the truth.
Wow. I had always thought I made the right decision in not seeing my son Joshua, but now I wonder if it would have helped me, my wife, or our other children. I know just reading the autopsy was hard. Only my (nurse) oldest daughter and I read it because I didn't want others to have the mental pictures. Our deputy friend Stephen found him and had to live with that until his murder 2.5 years later. I didn't see Stephen either. I feel some guilt that maybe it was fear that kept me from it.
As a father of twin girls, this was almost impossible to get through. And I had to stop every now and then to take a breath and stop myself from crying. All the way around the world, I will always be praying for you and your girls buddy. You are not alone.
I commend you for this post Jason. Dom had a ‘natural burial’ and I was relieved when the funeral home told us they didn’t want us to see him as his body had degraded to the point where it would be upsetting for us. I wanted to remember my boy as he was. We spent time with him whilst he was in his casket and said much the same (beautiful) things that you did to Chloe. How do we manage to hold it together I sometimes wonder, but here we are, still doing it. Sending love ♥️
What an intimate, precious gift to walk with you as you share this unbelievable nightmare in a way that touched my heart (I was crying at the end) and also so many men. You are real, vulnerable, self-aware of your emotions, and present in the face of devastating heartbreak. And most women don't witness men in their life being vulnerable - I think their hearts will be touched by your sharing this. Sending you love and peace.
Hi Jason. It feels so inappropriate to respond this way to such a breathtakingly personal thing. But I wanted to say thank you for the incredible courage it took to share this. I have not had to walk through the loss of a child, but when I sit opposite a client who has, I am humbled in their presence.
Dearest Jason - my heart aches for you while at the same moment heart pours love out to you, Mel, and Tanja with prayers of strength when each of you will need in this journey as you grieve with grace and growth! Thank you for using this space so we can connect to you / so real and raw. With love - Jackie S.
We love your folks Jason….here at the Gartshore and….our hearts are torn with pain for your horrible loss of Chloe!! We have sent many prayers for your strength and close family love, through this incredible loss! Our hearts respect and at the same time ….dread your pain. Blessings and love always ❤️
Incredible, Jason. I 'm so sorry you had to experience this wrenching loss, but glad that you have been able to see it through. That takes an inordinate amount of strength. I know you and Tanja aren't religious, but I hope it offers some small comfort that I'm praying for both of you and Melody.
I don't know you personally, but have for a long time been following your posts on life's struggles, and mental health and I found you to be a amazing person with wisdom to help and encourage others 💕. I have no words for what your going through, except I'm so so sorry 😢.
Thank you for being real in this post and I know it will encourage others that are walking the same path you are on💕
How does one put into words the unspeakable, immeasurable pain that has fallen upon you? Like this. One baby step, in front of the other at a time. Thank God for Tanja and Melody, who’ve been able to gather their own sedimentary pieces to be a rock for you. You three are incredible💗
Man… thank you for being real. That took guts to write, and even more to live through.
What you shared brought me back to my own loss. Different details, same kind of heartbreak. That fear of seeing them one last time, wondering if you can handle it, hoping someone else makes the call for you. I felt that deep.
But you showed up. You did not run. You faced it head on, even when everything in you was screaming not to. That is strength most people will never understand.
You honored your daughter. And the way you told it—raw, unfiltered—it matters. It hits people right where they live.
You are not alone in this. And you are helping more folks than you know just by telling the truth.
Thank you friend. I really appreciate you reading and adding your voice to the conversation.
It was by far, the hardest thing I've ever done.
Love you brother
Wow. I had always thought I made the right decision in not seeing my son Joshua, but now I wonder if it would have helped me, my wife, or our other children. I know just reading the autopsy was hard. Only my (nurse) oldest daughter and I read it because I didn't want others to have the mental pictures. Our deputy friend Stephen found him and had to live with that until his murder 2.5 years later. I didn't see Stephen either. I feel some guilt that maybe it was fear that kept me from it.
Jason, my heart feels torn in two for you, your family, as you try to survive this terrible loss. I am your Mom's friend so you don't wonder who I am.
As a father of twin girls, this was almost impossible to get through. And I had to stop every now and then to take a breath and stop myself from crying. All the way around the world, I will always be praying for you and your girls buddy. You are not alone.
Must have been incredibly hard. Love to you x
Every time I read one of your pieces I cry along with you. Sending love 🤍
I commend you for this post Jason. Dom had a ‘natural burial’ and I was relieved when the funeral home told us they didn’t want us to see him as his body had degraded to the point where it would be upsetting for us. I wanted to remember my boy as he was. We spent time with him whilst he was in his casket and said much the same (beautiful) things that you did to Chloe. How do we manage to hold it together I sometimes wonder, but here we are, still doing it. Sending love ♥️
What an intimate, precious gift to walk with you as you share this unbelievable nightmare in a way that touched my heart (I was crying at the end) and also so many men. You are real, vulnerable, self-aware of your emotions, and present in the face of devastating heartbreak. And most women don't witness men in their life being vulnerable - I think their hearts will be touched by your sharing this. Sending you love and peace.
Jason, this has touched me deeply. I'm glad to have found your writing.
Thank you brother. I appreciate you saying that.
Hi Jason. It feels so inappropriate to respond this way to such a breathtakingly personal thing. But I wanted to say thank you for the incredible courage it took to share this. I have not had to walk through the loss of a child, but when I sit opposite a client who has, I am humbled in their presence.
Dearest Jason - my heart aches for you while at the same moment heart pours love out to you, Mel, and Tanja with prayers of strength when each of you will need in this journey as you grieve with grace and growth! Thank you for using this space so we can connect to you / so real and raw. With love - Jackie S.
We love your folks Jason….here at the Gartshore and….our hearts are torn with pain for your horrible loss of Chloe!! We have sent many prayers for your strength and close family love, through this incredible loss! Our hearts respect and at the same time ….dread your pain. Blessings and love always ❤️
Incredible, Jason. I 'm so sorry you had to experience this wrenching loss, but glad that you have been able to see it through. That takes an inordinate amount of strength. I know you and Tanja aren't religious, but I hope it offers some small comfort that I'm praying for both of you and Melody.
I don't know you personally, but have for a long time been following your posts on life's struggles, and mental health and I found you to be a amazing person with wisdom to help and encourage others 💕. I have no words for what your going through, except I'm so so sorry 😢.
Thank you for being real in this post and I know it will encourage others that are walking the same path you are on💕
How does one put into words the unspeakable, immeasurable pain that has fallen upon you? Like this. One baby step, in front of the other at a time. Thank God for Tanja and Melody, who’ve been able to gather their own sedimentary pieces to be a rock for you. You three are incredible💗