I absolutely love this Jason. MANY MANY men (and people who love them) need this. Thank you for sharing your story and your hard-won insights. God bless you as you continue to travel this road of life after loss.🩵
Re: your thought about renaming to “Man Up and Heal”… if you’re really wanting to reach a man in the very early days/months of grief, Man Down is better. Because that’s where he is. He’s not thinking about “healing”… he’s thinking about (presumably because he’s reading your book) surviving. And your subtitle points to the fact that there is growth. But first they have to survive. Just my 2 cents which are worth 0 in reality so take it for whatever it means to you 🤓
Thanks so much for your feedback and encouragement Jennifer! It means a lot to me.
I think I didn't explain what I intended very well. My thought was to create this guide for men in the immediate aftermath of a devastating loss - so I'll call it Man Down.
The Man Up and Heal idea was for another book I'm writing for men about grief. It's less focused on right after the loss and more about grief and healing in general (for men). So I wanted to combine the idea of "manning up" and healing.
Does that change anything for you or do you still feel the same way? Thank you for reading!
I tend to agree with Jennifer re: “Man Down”. It’s actually how one feels and it’s something one can identify with immediately, but my military bias might be showing.
“Man Up”, while optimistic and hopeful, isn’t your audience. Man up is what put many of us in the hole we find ourselves. We thought we could do everything and meet the expectations that we , and the world, set for ourselves. “Man Up” is actually the password that opens the door to our private Hell.
I appreciate the feedback brother. I’m going to stick with Man Down but my original idea was actually to title it Man Up and Heal. My idea was to try to reframe what it means to “man up.”
Your words can help anyone, not just men. I’m a grieving mom 13 months in and I’m still waiting for things to get better while I watch the dumpster fire continue to smolder. ☹️
Reading with interest, Jason. I've often wondered if knowing about a death ahead of time might make it easier. Time will tell, for me, I guess. Meanwhile, I am soaking up your wisdom.
Not sure why for men only? That's a stereotype and generalization that at least I, personally, don't subscribe to. The ability to deal with, learn from, survive, and thrive after great loss, trauma, or grief can apply universally, to all, young or old, male or female, generally regardless of race, religion, or culture. Maybe it's more about those topics from being born you, and man, your views, your challenges, your background, and your overall life experiences. Isn't it really about experiencing and healing from grief from "one" [real], [strong], [grown] [growing] [metamorphasizing] (or the like) man's perspective? It's each individual's uniqueness that creates the story and underlies any pablum-type generalizations. Just some food for thought.
Many men have a special skill to make things worse for themselves and society tells us we’re supposed to be tough, stoic, and able to fix anything.
Women seem a lot smarter when it comes to dealing with things they can’t control. I know this is a generalization and isn’t inclusive and I apologize in advance. We’ve spent most of our lives burying our thoughts and feelings.
1000% brother. After my wife took her own life, I drank like a fish for almost five years and it never occurred to me that they were related to each other. I told myself I had “moved on” without ever realizing I was drowning my pain in booze (amongst other things).
I want more men to understand that being aware of your emotional experience and being able to sit with it and communicate it is a super power. Not only does it make you more effective in challenging situations at home and at work but it makes you vastly more able to build stronger relationships with people.
Thanks for reading and adding your voice to the conversation my friend.
Thanks for much for sharing your perspective with me.
Of course it can apply to everyone universally. I’m writing for men specifically because it’s men who I most want to reach and help.
Having worked with thousands of them over the years, I believe I can communicate with them in a way that changes the face of men’s grief. And I feel deeply called to do just that.
Will I succeed? Who knows. But I’m loving trying so far!
I absolutely love this Jason. MANY MANY men (and people who love them) need this. Thank you for sharing your story and your hard-won insights. God bless you as you continue to travel this road of life after loss.🩵
Re: your thought about renaming to “Man Up and Heal”… if you’re really wanting to reach a man in the very early days/months of grief, Man Down is better. Because that’s where he is. He’s not thinking about “healing”… he’s thinking about (presumably because he’s reading your book) surviving. And your subtitle points to the fact that there is growth. But first they have to survive. Just my 2 cents which are worth 0 in reality so take it for whatever it means to you 🤓
Thanks so much for your feedback and encouragement Jennifer! It means a lot to me.
I think I didn't explain what I intended very well. My thought was to create this guide for men in the immediate aftermath of a devastating loss - so I'll call it Man Down.
The Man Up and Heal idea was for another book I'm writing for men about grief. It's less focused on right after the loss and more about grief and healing in general (for men). So I wanted to combine the idea of "manning up" and healing.
Does that change anything for you or do you still feel the same way? Thank you for reading!
Yes, this helps. For a totally different book (and audience) I like Man Up and Heal. 💙
I tend to agree with Jennifer re: “Man Down”. It’s actually how one feels and it’s something one can identify with immediately, but my military bias might be showing.
“Man Up”, while optimistic and hopeful, isn’t your audience. Man up is what put many of us in the hole we find ourselves. We thought we could do everything and meet the expectations that we , and the world, set for ourselves. “Man Up” is actually the password that opens the door to our private Hell.
I appreciate the feedback brother. I’m going to stick with Man Down but my original idea was actually to title it Man Up and Heal. My idea was to try to reframe what it means to “man up.”
Holding on to this one for myself: "You don’t owe anyone a performance while your world is burning." Thank you Jason.
You're so welcome Lila. I'm glad it resonated with you ♥️
You truly inspire. Thank you for transforming your pain into healing for others.
Thank you friend. I really appreciate that ♥️
This is some real stuff. Valuable to the ones who are going through fresh grief.
Thank you friend. I'm doing my best to try to help people and I appreciate your encouragement!
Your words can help anyone, not just men. I’m a grieving mom 13 months in and I’m still waiting for things to get better while I watch the dumpster fire continue to smolder. ☹️
Imagine a stained glass heart, made of your favorite colors, illuminated by the sun behind it.
Imagine that heart falls to the ground, shattering.
Imagine picking up each piece of glass and gently leading it in place.
The new heart will ultimately be larger than the unbroken original.
That is how the heart expands, piece by piece.
Reading with interest, Jason. I've often wondered if knowing about a death ahead of time might make it easier. Time will tell, for me, I guess. Meanwhile, I am soaking up your wisdom.
Not sure why for men only? That's a stereotype and generalization that at least I, personally, don't subscribe to. The ability to deal with, learn from, survive, and thrive after great loss, trauma, or grief can apply universally, to all, young or old, male or female, generally regardless of race, religion, or culture. Maybe it's more about those topics from being born you, and man, your views, your challenges, your background, and your overall life experiences. Isn't it really about experiencing and healing from grief from "one" [real], [strong], [grown] [growing] [metamorphasizing] (or the like) man's perspective? It's each individual's uniqueness that creates the story and underlies any pablum-type generalizations. Just some food for thought.
Many men have a special skill to make things worse for themselves and society tells us we’re supposed to be tough, stoic, and able to fix anything.
Women seem a lot smarter when it comes to dealing with things they can’t control. I know this is a generalization and isn’t inclusive and I apologize in advance. We’ve spent most of our lives burying our thoughts and feelings.
1000% brother. After my wife took her own life, I drank like a fish for almost five years and it never occurred to me that they were related to each other. I told myself I had “moved on” without ever realizing I was drowning my pain in booze (amongst other things).
I want more men to understand that being aware of your emotional experience and being able to sit with it and communicate it is a super power. Not only does it make you more effective in challenging situations at home and at work but it makes you vastly more able to build stronger relationships with people.
Thanks for reading and adding your voice to the conversation my friend.
Thanks for much for sharing your perspective with me.
Of course it can apply to everyone universally. I’m writing for men specifically because it’s men who I most want to reach and help.
Having worked with thousands of them over the years, I believe I can communicate with them in a way that changes the face of men’s grief. And I feel deeply called to do just that.
Will I succeed? Who knows. But I’m loving trying so far!