11 Comments
User's avatar
The Grief Hub's avatar

Wow, this has helped me more than I can even express. I have been sober for 36, almost 37 years, and I've wanted to drink and anesthetize my grief for the past few weeks. My therapist and AA sponsor both said it's only a temporary solution, but I didn't believe them. After reading this post, I know it will not allay my pain, momentarily, yes, maybe for a few hours, but then I will have shame and remorse. Thank you for reminding me that alcohol is not the solution.

Expand full comment
Dr. Deborah Hall's avatar

thank you for giving us your experience

we see your courage in saying hell no

to the terribly dangerous destructive inner lie

and instead allowing your ally Jason to reach you

before you jumped off the cliff

Expand full comment
The Grief Hub's avatar

Thank you! I appreciate that. It was a bit scary for a bit but I’m feeling a lot better.

Expand full comment
Yvonne's avatar

Nalda, so sorry for your loss. Sending you love and strength. Congratulations on being 37 years sober. You have great insight.

Expand full comment
The Grief Hub's avatar

Thank you Yvonne. That means a lot to me.

Expand full comment
Yvonne's avatar

Jason, I can relate. I had so many losses in my life and grief is overwhelming. Most people are not comfortable talking about grief and all they have to offer are pat answers and platitudes which makes me so angry. When I hear those platitudes I like to ask them if that's what they would like to hear if they suffered a loss. It's a different ball game when it applies to them. I wish there was groups where people could talk freely about the pain of losing someone. I joined a Grief Support Group once only to be told that my grief was too intense and that I was not a suitable 'client'. Was I at the wrong place or were they( the people conducting the group). I like to think that they were the ones who were unskilled at helping me going through the grief process. I then turned to books where my grief felt understood and I felt accepted. Of course, books cannot replace people but that was my only option as I didn't have tons of money to dish out for private therapy. Nowadays, even grief is being monetized. Congratulations on getting sober. Wonderful to hear!

Expand full comment
Stephanie C. Bell's avatar

Such a powerful read.

Expand full comment
Dr. Deborah Hall's avatar

thank you

for your beautifully written letter

to us all

I am so happy for you Jason

that you have built your freedom

and that

you share how you did it

Expand full comment
Aaron Sorensen's avatar

Thanks for sharing. I knew that I had to stay away from booze for a while after my son died. I never fully gave it up, but I work hard to not drown my sorrows. I'm glad that you were able to confront your addiction and overcome it.

Expand full comment
Joseph Martin's avatar

A handful of sand, thrown into the sea, is what sinning is, when compared to God's Providence and mercy. Just like an abundant source of water is not impeded by a handful of dust, so is the Creator's mercy not defeated by the sins of His creations.

-St Isaac the Syrian

Expand full comment
Emma Jarrett's avatar

Thank you for writing this down and sharing it. We need this.

Expand full comment