Another zinger !! Reminds me of Susan Davids key insight - “emotions are data not directives”. A statement that simple blew the doors to emotional intelligence wide open for me. I could observe what I was feeling instead of letting it rule my actions. Thanks buddy !
I loved her book. Like you, it had a profound impact on my thinking. Now that we're talking about. it, I feel like I should probably go back and read it again.
This is the kind of deep insight that only comes from lived experience...and an abundance of willingness to examine a thought system that has been taught to us. No fault of our parents...it's what they learned to. Awesome that you're teaching others to change the narrative. Looking forward to speaking about that with you on Wednesday.
When men tell me they don't like talking about or expressing their feelings, what they really mean is they don't like talking about or expressing their vulnerable feelings.
They're happy to let their world know they're angry, disgusted, or even amused. But grief? No can do, man. That's one of those feeling-feelings.
I love your message about pausing, which I'm interpreting as the power tool in this box. Just slowing down long eboug to let the torrent pass a little can be the difference between reacting and responding for this man.
Excellent and I’m a woman. I chose a step 3 and surprised myself with my raw admission. It felt good. Thank you. “The unexamined life is not worth living… “
Thank you and I totally agree with you. That's going to be the focus of an upcoming chapter!
I'm a little obsessed with helping people more effectively navigate emotionally-charged situations. Especially because I was so terrible at it for so long.
I run a coaching group for dad's who own businesses and the FIRST thing we teach them, and then reinforce it often, is emotional validation. In my opinion, it's the most important relationship skill that almost no one is ever taught.
I wrote a piece about it a little while ago and there's a guide with 10 mistakes people you can download at the bottom if you're interested.
Brilliant piece of writing - well thought through and presented in a very readable way. Even though this was aimed at men I am currently going through a discombobulating time, but from reading your piece I now know I am still grieving the loss of my Mother who died back in November. She was a complicated woman so it wasn’t the normal mother/daughter relationship. And it is this that is probably causing me the most discomfort because I have nowhere for these other emotions to go which invariably start with ‘why’ and end with ‘me.’
So much good here. I have fear to mention this but connection codes has given me a very simple framework(still hard to apply) for understanding and processing emotions. ZConnection.Codes if you want to take a look
Another zinger !! Reminds me of Susan Davids key insight - “emotions are data not directives”. A statement that simple blew the doors to emotional intelligence wide open for me. I could observe what I was feeling instead of letting it rule my actions. Thanks buddy !
I loved her book. Like you, it had a profound impact on my thinking. Now that we're talking about. it, I feel like I should probably go back and read it again.
This is the kind of deep insight that only comes from lived experience...and an abundance of willingness to examine a thought system that has been taught to us. No fault of our parents...it's what they learned to. Awesome that you're teaching others to change the narrative. Looking forward to speaking about that with you on Wednesday.
Thank you friend. I'm looking forward to connecting to and exploring how I can help other parents heal. ♥️
When men tell me they don't like talking about or expressing their feelings, what they really mean is they don't like talking about or expressing their vulnerable feelings.
They're happy to let their world know they're angry, disgusted, or even amused. But grief? No can do, man. That's one of those feeling-feelings.
I love your message about pausing, which I'm interpreting as the power tool in this box. Just slowing down long eboug to let the torrent pass a little can be the difference between reacting and responding for this man.
1000% brother. Anything pattern interrupts a reaction and gives you a little more space to choose your response can be so helpful. ♥️♥️
Excellent and I’m a woman. I chose a step 3 and surprised myself with my raw admission. It felt good. Thank you. “The unexamined life is not worth living… “
Wonderful! I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank makes me really happy ♥️♥️
I'm not sure men know how to deal with the grief of women either (?); that's just my personal experience.
Highly moving and an important piece. Hoping it reaches men everywhere.
Thank you and I totally agree with you. That's going to be the focus of an upcoming chapter!
I'm a little obsessed with helping people more effectively navigate emotionally-charged situations. Especially because I was so terrible at it for so long.
I run a coaching group for dad's who own businesses and the FIRST thing we teach them, and then reinforce it often, is emotional validation. In my opinion, it's the most important relationship skill that almost no one is ever taught.
I wrote a piece about it a little while ago and there's a guide with 10 mistakes people you can download at the bottom if you're interested.
https://open.substack.com/pub/improvingman/p/how-to-show-up-for-someone-whos-hurting?r=1tmtx5&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
Thank you 🤍🙏
Brilliant piece of writing - well thought through and presented in a very readable way. Even though this was aimed at men I am currently going through a discombobulating time, but from reading your piece I now know I am still grieving the loss of my Mother who died back in November. She was a complicated woman so it wasn’t the normal mother/daughter relationship. And it is this that is probably causing me the most discomfort because I have nowhere for these other emotions to go which invariably start with ‘why’ and end with ‘me.’
I understand completely friend and I really appreciate you sharing some of your story. I'm glad you found some value in my writing ♥️
So much good here. I have fear to mention this but connection codes has given me a very simple framework(still hard to apply) for understanding and processing emotions. ZConnection.Codes if you want to take a look
Thanks brother! What makes you have fear of mentioning it?
It could feel like I am telling you that what you are doing now isn't good enough.
I appreciate your concern but I wouldn’t worry about that. I’m always trying to learn!