Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Jennifer. It means a lot to know my piece resonated with you.
If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that some lessons take the time they take to unfold - sometimes far longer than we’d like. And when the clarity finally arrives, it often feels so obvious that we wonder how it could have taken us so long to see it.
When that moment comes, I do my best to meet it with gratitude. Late is better than never ❤️❤️
I agree, late is better than never. I’m grateful for these kinds of moments too bc so many never get them. We get to learn from them and be even more grateful to live life differently moving forward.
I’m going to reflect and work on how I express my beliefs and grief towards my children. I’m sure there are subtle ways I could do better that aren’t obvious. Thank you.
It’s a powerful piece and it left me uncomfortably without many words. Is it possible to buy you a coffee? I’ve never offered before, but I don’t know how else to express what I’m feeling. 🌷🍀
I know my friend and his two losses. I shan’t speak of it without him knowing, but I’ll ask him if I can offer him these tools. I myself only deal with being an estranged dad. I consider that grief too, but on a different scale. I sometimes find it hard to switch from English to Dutch and follow you in your writings and videos, but I do marvel at your strength. My biggest weakness is what happened after social isolation. It’s biting me in the arse at the moment.
Edit: that guide; do I have your permission to translate it in Dutch?
Brother - being an estranged dad would be an incredibly difficult burden to bear. I can't imagine how tough it would be not to be able to be with your kids the way you want and imagined.
What exactly is biting you in the ass at the moment, brother?
I don’t really have people I can ring and confide in or check up on me either and know the whole story. I go to therapy groups now though. There’s a national help line sure. There’s my own dad, who tries, but often doesn’t have the tools to understand and talk to me emotionally. I have not seen my Australian children since 2011. Daughter is 22 now and my son has just turned 18. Most of my problems stem from the bad feelings about that. I get medicine to help keep my chin up. I have no work and the meds have also played up and down with body weight. I have to start at the bare basics again: eat, sleep, exercise, socialize. Some days in a row I don’t talk to people. I lose hope and I feel I grow older without any change in my life. I have many distractions to make life liveable; gaming being among them.
I wish for validation, true connection vis-a-vis, empathy and most of all I wish I had a home. I lost my home in 2011 when I fell ill and divorce fell on us.
Sven, sending you strength, hope and peace. Great that you're going to group therapy. Don't isolate... make as many connections as possible. Many times people are not skilled in dealing with the pain of others so that's why seeking help from a skilled therapist is so important .You're not alone. Wishing you the best!
Jason, I'm impressed at how willing you are to admit when you're wrong, and how you pivot accordingly. These so-called coincidences you note mean something. They mean a LOT.
Many years before he died, my atheist father used to tell anyone who would listen that, "When you're dead, you're dead. That's it. End of discussion."
My sister is, to use the term a bit too broadly, "psychic." As such, throughout her life she's had access to a higher-vibration realm far beyond this material world. She and my father rarely broached the subject of "Life after Life," but when they did, Stubborn Dad never budged an inch.
Soon after our dad died, he contacted my sister.
His message was loud and clear: "Kid," he told her, "you were right all along."
And, as he'd surely say, End of discussion.
Anyway, I hope you find some measure of peace through your expanded horizons.
Oh I was amazed. She regularly comes out with messages that irrefutably prove that there is a high vibe world, without time and space, and that loved ones are waiting for us. Please know this!
A friend sent me a link to this post--he knew it would resonate with me. I lost my daughter when she was twenty. My son was sixteen at the time and for two years I didn’t hear him mention her name. She was his only sibling, and they’d been close.
I think the loss was too much for his teenage boy heart to process. Caught up in my own whirlpool of grief, I didn't know what to do for him. His body language seemed to say, leave me alone. He’s a wonderful son and we were a team when my husband died, but I still feel there's something I could have done for him, something to help him process the pain of his loss. I'm not sure how I could have helped him, but I feel that I missed an opportunity to bond over the most painful moment of our lives. We are close and he treats me with respect, but I believe if we’d been able to talk about Leta—our memories, our pain, our regrets, we would be much closer today. That is my regret. I don’t know how to resolve it.
Lee, I am not a therapist but I had many losses in my life. Regrets about things left undone or not said. You dealt with your pain and your son's pain the best way you knew how. You were overwhelmed by your own pain and when that happens it's hard to be there for others. Have you talk about this to a therapist? Have you try to ask your son how you could help him, now? What are his needs? Try not to be beat yourself about the way you handled it. You did the best you could. Sending you strength, love and courage.
Thank you Yvonne, for your thoughtful comment. I did talk to a therapist and she told me she thought my son handled it well for a 16-year-old boy. He dove deeply into the mountain biking world and put all his energy and probably grief there. I don’t beat myself up, but if I could have a do-over, I would handle it somewhat differently. But then again we never know where the road not taken might have ended.
"I can see now that I was wrong. That moment stabs me in the heart every time I revisit it. My little girl was reaching for a way to stay connected to her mom, and I slammed the door. I wasn’t giving her truth. I was projecting my own pain. Cindy’s mental health issues and death had consumed my life, and I wanted to be done with that chapter of my life. Without knowing it, I dumped that weight onto Chloe’s tiny shoulders."
I think many of us as parents , not all of course, have pain for errors of our speech or actions with our children, missing at the time what they really needed and asked of us and us being blind.
This article was incredible and the developing self awareness through it is something we should all be constantly pursuing.
You are the best kind of teacher, Jason. Nothing is so compelling as a lesson someone has lived so deeply. Spirituality, connection with our loved ones, life after death... it's all academic until it becomes irrefutably real through experience. There are things I wish I had done differently too, often wondering if I could have helped Ryan deal better with his sister's death and possibly prevented his suicide. But I've learned i can't possibly know all the factors that went into his decision (I know there were his own existential questions too)and I've accepted my imperfection. All is well with our loved ones (I love the signs you've seen!) and now we use this to help others.
This was an absolutely astonishing read that I will be thinking about for a long time to come. ❤ There are so many mysteries we can never fully understand but being open to them can bring healing. I agree that Chloe is in her mama's arms, where she longed to be, and may you feel their love for you from beyond the veil every day of the rest of your life. Their light and loving legacy shine through you and your readers feel it.
Jason, we all have regrets about what we should have said or done. I have many regrets about things I feel I should had done or said when my parents and my brother were dying and it 's so hard to live with those regrets but there 's nothing we can do about it now except to learn and to be aware. You did or said what you were taught. You didn't say those words to your daughter out of meanness. There was no way for you to know that those words would have the impact they did. We have to learn to forgive ourselves and to be self-compassionate. We wouldn't berate others if they confided about the same things to us but we are very hard on ourselves. Peace to you! Your wife and Chloe are walking beside you every day. That's my belief.
Such a beautiful and poignant post Jason. I share with you the ‘if only I had known’ moments. We do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time. Your love for Chloe burns so very brightly, I know she still feels it ❤️
Your story shows both the weight of grief and the mystery of hope that even in the darkest places, love still finds a way to reach through. I feel this! Thank you for sharing.
I’m so sorry for your tremendous loss. Your piece crushed my soul. Losing a child is every parent’s worst nightmare. And I’m sorry you feel you played a part. That comes with own level of pain. I’ve experienced some similar signs since my dad died (I mention them in our upcoming piece about Firsts). I was raised Christian Scientist, which had me questioning religion from a young age. And yet—these signs have offered a kind of comfort I never expected.
I’m still not a God person—I need absolute proof—but I am spiritual in my own way, and I’m always hoping for more signs. Hell, I hope there is a heaven so I can see him, and everyone I’ve loved, again.
Sincere thanks for sharing this. I struggle with Faith. Hearing stories like this helps. Appreciate your willingness to share this. Feel for you for all you’ve been through.
I don’t know why- but I’m balling my eyes out. I think it’s bc oftentimes humans learn these things too late in life. This piece really touched me.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Jennifer. It means a lot to know my piece resonated with you.
If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that some lessons take the time they take to unfold - sometimes far longer than we’d like. And when the clarity finally arrives, it often feels so obvious that we wonder how it could have taken us so long to see it.
When that moment comes, I do my best to meet it with gratitude. Late is better than never ❤️❤️
I agree, late is better than never. I’m grateful for these kinds of moments too bc so many never get them. We get to learn from them and be even more grateful to live life differently moving forward.
I’m going to reflect and work on how I express my beliefs and grief towards my children. I’m sure there are subtle ways I could do better that aren’t obvious. Thank you.
On an iPad. Can’t read the download! Help, Jason. Just lost my partner 2 days ago and need the knowledge. Copy and paste here??? Sorry buddy. Lol
Hey CJ - I’m so sorry you lost your partner, brother. What are you asking for exactly?
The dowloadable part. The part I can’t read.
Ahhh. Here you go brother. https://grieftools.myflodesk.com/dbotoj78jm
Sorry mate. Wish I had the words. Peace.
C,J. in Dallas, so sorry about the loss of your partner. Sending you strength and peace.
Ditto.
It’s a powerful piece and it left me uncomfortably without many words. Is it possible to buy you a coffee? I’ve never offered before, but I don’t know how else to express what I’m feeling. 🌷🍀
Thank you my friend. Your heartfelt comment is more than enough of a gesture.
Although, if you know a man dealing with grief, I'd appreciate you sharing this with them.
https://grieftools.myflodesk.com/dbotoj78jm
Thank you so much for reading and adding your voice to the conversation.
I know my friend and his two losses. I shan’t speak of it without him knowing, but I’ll ask him if I can offer him these tools. I myself only deal with being an estranged dad. I consider that grief too, but on a different scale. I sometimes find it hard to switch from English to Dutch and follow you in your writings and videos, but I do marvel at your strength. My biggest weakness is what happened after social isolation. It’s biting me in the arse at the moment.
Edit: that guide; do I have your permission to translate it in Dutch?
Brother - being an estranged dad would be an incredibly difficult burden to bear. I can't imagine how tough it would be not to be able to be with your kids the way you want and imagined.
What exactly is biting you in the ass at the moment, brother?
I don’t really have people I can ring and confide in or check up on me either and know the whole story. I go to therapy groups now though. There’s a national help line sure. There’s my own dad, who tries, but often doesn’t have the tools to understand and talk to me emotionally. I have not seen my Australian children since 2011. Daughter is 22 now and my son has just turned 18. Most of my problems stem from the bad feelings about that. I get medicine to help keep my chin up. I have no work and the meds have also played up and down with body weight. I have to start at the bare basics again: eat, sleep, exercise, socialize. Some days in a row I don’t talk to people. I lose hope and I feel I grow older without any change in my life. I have many distractions to make life liveable; gaming being among them.
I wish for validation, true connection vis-a-vis, empathy and most of all I wish I had a home. I lost my home in 2011 when I fell ill and divorce fell on us.
Sven, sending you strength, hope and peace. Great that you're going to group therapy. Don't isolate... make as many connections as possible. Many times people are not skilled in dealing with the pain of others so that's why seeking help from a skilled therapist is so important .You're not alone. Wishing you the best!
🌷🍀☀️ - thank you
Thank you for sharing Jason. You have much love in your heart and that only comes from God.
Thank you brother. I appreciate you reading and commenting. ❤️
Jason, I'm impressed at how willing you are to admit when you're wrong, and how you pivot accordingly. These so-called coincidences you note mean something. They mean a LOT.
Many years before he died, my atheist father used to tell anyone who would listen that, "When you're dead, you're dead. That's it. End of discussion."
My sister is, to use the term a bit too broadly, "psychic." As such, throughout her life she's had access to a higher-vibration realm far beyond this material world. She and my father rarely broached the subject of "Life after Life," but when they did, Stubborn Dad never budged an inch.
Soon after our dad died, he contacted my sister.
His message was loud and clear: "Kid," he told her, "you were right all along."
And, as he'd surely say, End of discussion.
Anyway, I hope you find some measure of peace through your expanded horizons.
Wow. What an incredible story that gave me goosebumps Larry.
What was it like for you when you heard that message through your sister?
Oh I was amazed. She regularly comes out with messages that irrefutably prove that there is a high vibe world, without time and space, and that loved ones are waiting for us. Please know this!
A friend sent me a link to this post--he knew it would resonate with me. I lost my daughter when she was twenty. My son was sixteen at the time and for two years I didn’t hear him mention her name. She was his only sibling, and they’d been close.
I think the loss was too much for his teenage boy heart to process. Caught up in my own whirlpool of grief, I didn't know what to do for him. His body language seemed to say, leave me alone. He’s a wonderful son and we were a team when my husband died, but I still feel there's something I could have done for him, something to help him process the pain of his loss. I'm not sure how I could have helped him, but I feel that I missed an opportunity to bond over the most painful moment of our lives. We are close and he treats me with respect, but I believe if we’d been able to talk about Leta—our memories, our pain, our regrets, we would be much closer today. That is my regret. I don’t know how to resolve it.
Lee, I am not a therapist but I had many losses in my life. Regrets about things left undone or not said. You dealt with your pain and your son's pain the best way you knew how. You were overwhelmed by your own pain and when that happens it's hard to be there for others. Have you talk about this to a therapist? Have you try to ask your son how you could help him, now? What are his needs? Try not to be beat yourself about the way you handled it. You did the best you could. Sending you strength, love and courage.
Thank you Yvonne, for your thoughtful comment. I did talk to a therapist and she told me she thought my son handled it well for a 16-year-old boy. He dove deeply into the mountain biking world and put all his energy and probably grief there. I don’t beat myself up, but if I could have a do-over, I would handle it somewhat differently. But then again we never know where the road not taken might have ended.
You're welcome. Glad that things are going ok.
I can never read an article from you and not get a lump in my throat. Sending love 🧡.
Thank you so much Adina ❤️
"I can see now that I was wrong. That moment stabs me in the heart every time I revisit it. My little girl was reaching for a way to stay connected to her mom, and I slammed the door. I wasn’t giving her truth. I was projecting my own pain. Cindy’s mental health issues and death had consumed my life, and I wanted to be done with that chapter of my life. Without knowing it, I dumped that weight onto Chloe’s tiny shoulders."
I think many of us as parents , not all of course, have pain for errors of our speech or actions with our children, missing at the time what they really needed and asked of us and us being blind.
This article was incredible and the developing self awareness through it is something we should all be constantly pursuing.
Thank you so much for reading and adding your voice to the conversation my friend.
You are the best kind of teacher, Jason. Nothing is so compelling as a lesson someone has lived so deeply. Spirituality, connection with our loved ones, life after death... it's all academic until it becomes irrefutably real through experience. There are things I wish I had done differently too, often wondering if I could have helped Ryan deal better with his sister's death and possibly prevented his suicide. But I've learned i can't possibly know all the factors that went into his decision (I know there were his own existential questions too)and I've accepted my imperfection. All is well with our loved ones (I love the signs you've seen!) and now we use this to help others.
This was an absolutely astonishing read that I will be thinking about for a long time to come. ❤ There are so many mysteries we can never fully understand but being open to them can bring healing. I agree that Chloe is in her mama's arms, where she longed to be, and may you feel their love for you from beyond the veil every day of the rest of your life. Their light and loving legacy shine through you and your readers feel it.
Jason, we all have regrets about what we should have said or done. I have many regrets about things I feel I should had done or said when my parents and my brother were dying and it 's so hard to live with those regrets but there 's nothing we can do about it now except to learn and to be aware. You did or said what you were taught. You didn't say those words to your daughter out of meanness. There was no way for you to know that those words would have the impact they did. We have to learn to forgive ourselves and to be self-compassionate. We wouldn't berate others if they confided about the same things to us but we are very hard on ourselves. Peace to you! Your wife and Chloe are walking beside you every day. That's my belief.
Such a beautiful and poignant post Jason. I share with you the ‘if only I had known’ moments. We do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time. Your love for Chloe burns so very brightly, I know she still feels it ❤️
Your story shows both the weight of grief and the mystery of hope that even in the darkest places, love still finds a way to reach through. I feel this! Thank you for sharing.
I’m so sorry for your tremendous loss. Your piece crushed my soul. Losing a child is every parent’s worst nightmare. And I’m sorry you feel you played a part. That comes with own level of pain. I’ve experienced some similar signs since my dad died (I mention them in our upcoming piece about Firsts). I was raised Christian Scientist, which had me questioning religion from a young age. And yet—these signs have offered a kind of comfort I never expected.
I’m still not a God person—I need absolute proof—but I am spiritual in my own way, and I’m always hoping for more signs. Hell, I hope there is a heaven so I can see him, and everyone I’ve loved, again.
It was not your fault what you said 💖
Sincere thanks for sharing this. I struggle with Faith. Hearing stories like this helps. Appreciate your willingness to share this. Feel for you for all you’ve been through.