What Grief Can Look like

A humble attempt to demystify a deeply personal, universal experience

I've lost a wife to suicide and a daughter to the devastating effects of mental health.

This post isn't meant to elicit pity—it's an attempt to help you understand what someone you love or work with might be going through.

Grief is a universal human experience, yet our struggle to talk about it keeps it shrouded in mystery.

I want to share what grief can look like because I believe empathy is the cure to much of what ails us.

Grief can look like turning to drugs and alcohol because you can't fucking stand being in your mind and body, yet there's nowhere to escape.

Grief can look like hating yourself because you know the way you're coping is only making an already awful situation worse.

Grief can look like logically knowing healing takes time, yet still beating yourself up for not having it all together.

Grief can look like wanting to sweep every grief book off the shelves in anger.

Grief can mean having a mini-panic attack when someone simply asks how many kids you have.

Grief can mean feeling so physically exhausted that getting out of bed seems impossible.

Grief can mean feeling like a loser, even though you know you're not, because you're still crying randomly, a year and a half, or five years later.

Grief can mean knowing you should talk about your experience but being so damn sick of whining about something you can't change.

Grief can mean having your entire identity blown up and trying to figure out who you are now.

Grief can mean not enjoying, or even hating, things you once loved.

Grief can mean blurting out the stories of your loss to total strangers, then regretting it and wondering why you did.

Grief can mean feeling paralyzed while you watch the world continue on around you as it always has and always will.

Grief can mean losing friendships because you become a hermit, and they don't know what to say or do.

Grief can mean knowing you need to perform at work while not caring about work in the slightest.

Grief can mean feeling fine one minute and crying uncontrollably on the side of the road the next.

Grief can mean driving through the cemetery and still being shocked that this is all real.

Grief can mean not talking about your experience because you don't want to be a burden to people who won't know what to say or do anyway.

Grief can mean having your heart ripped out over and over as you watch your child grapple with the loss of their sibling.

Grief can mean experiencing crushing anxiety in situations where you once felt completely comfortable.

Grief can mean wondering if the people you lost were ever even real.

Grief can mean feeling overwhelmingly alone, despite being surrounded by people who love you.

Grief can mean grappling with the fact that what you thought was "normal" will never exist again.

Grief can look like having all these tools and skills to help you move forward and being so fucking sick of having to use them.

And grief can also serve as a beautiful reminder of how deeply you loved the person you lost.

One final thought: if you're unsure whether to ask someone about their experience with grief, simply ask.

Here's how: 'What do you most want me to understand about your experience?'

And for everyone who loves me: thank you and I am healing ♥️

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YOUR NEXT STEPS: Learn The Most Important Relationship Skill You Were Never Taught

Ever been in a conversation where someone was grieving, upset, or overwhelmed—and you had no idea what to say?

Maybe you tried to cheer them up, offered advice they didn’t want, or just froze, unsure of how to help. And afterward, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you could’ve shown up better.

💡 You’re not alone. Most people struggle with this—not because they don’t care, but because no one ever taught them how.

That’s why I created The LEAD Model Training—so you can stop second-guessing yourself and start being the person people turn to in their hardest moments.

Here’s What You’ll Walk Away With:

✅ A simple, repeatable framework (Label, Explore, Acknowledge, Decide) that works in any emotional conversation.
✅ Confidence in what to say (and what NOT to say) so you never feel awkward or unsure again.
✅ Proven techniques that make people feel deeply heard—without forcing them to open up.
✅ Real-world role-play scenarios so you’re not just learning, you’re practicing.

Most people:
🚫 Jump to fixing before someone is ready.
🚫 Say things that make people shut down without realizing it.
🚫 Avoid tough conversations altogether out of fear of saying the wrong thing.

But the people who get this right? They build deeper relationships, gain unshakable trust, and become the person others turn to when it truly matters.

🔥 If you’re ready to stop feeling helpless in emotional conversations, join the LEAD Model Training today.