We have to fight for the living. We have to build systems that are trauma-informed, stigma-free, and deeply human.
Jason, this is so powerful and true. I’m so glad I took the time to read this morning. I think the only piece missing is God. I am in AA and will celebrate 20 years of sobriety on Saturday, and it has been filled with losses, grief, a broken heart more than once. But the God of my understanding has given me courage to share my story with anyone and everyone—even my high school seniors at school. The stigma has got to go. And we need to invite God in to give us the help we so desperately need. There are 12-step programs for people on both sides of any addiction and the codependency it creates. I can’t do this myself. I must have human support and reliance on a Higher Power. God bless you on this continued journey and keep writing—it’s so powerful!
Beautiful and heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for everything your family has been through. I hadn't thought before about the impact of work on first responders' mental health. Thanks for raising awareness.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have seen you on TikTok too. I lost my Dad to suicide when I was 2.5, my older sisters were 6 and 7. My Dad was a psychiatrist. He also had a difficult childhood and then a job where the pressure is high, and you see so much trauma. My teen years were extremely difficult… the questions, the anger. I really relate with both yourself and Chloe. I am so sorry you have lost both your wife and your daughter. Thank you for sharing your pain so openly and honestly with the world.
I wish there was a key to unlock the human mind and fully understand ourselves. How on earth can we ever understand suicide and it's impact on loved ones. I wish you and your treasured daughter well and a good life ahead
I cried a lot reading this- I can understand people's loss for words- because what can one say to someone who has been through such heartbreak? Thank you for adding your voice to the world. Men need you. We all need you. There are so many people at a loss as to how to survive/be when grief comes. Sending my love from Cape Town 💜💜💜
Thank you so much for your compassion Georgia. Asking ourselves what we can say to someone who has been through such heartbreak is a question so many people ask themselves.
Sadly, too many people think the answers they come up with are woefully inadequate, so they say nothing. And the person suffering the heartbreak feels even more alone.
I think there a few simple things we can say:
"This must be so unbelievably hard." Then, be quiet and listen.
or simply ask, "Would it be too much if I asked you what this experience has been like for you?" And again, be quiet and listen.
Thank you for reading and adding your voice to the conversation ♥️
Thank you so much for sharing this. This has me and my husband in tears. It’s so rare to find people write openly and deeply about the most painful things a human can experience. Your writing will change lives.
Thank you, Madelin. I really appreciate you saying that. I learned a long time ago that being more open about our human experiences is a way to help other people feel less alone.
And the beautiful thing is that helping others helps me as well. So I will keep doing it for as long as I live ♥️
We have to fight for the living. We have to build systems that are trauma-informed, stigma-free, and deeply human.
Jason, this is so powerful and true. I’m so glad I took the time to read this morning. I think the only piece missing is God. I am in AA and will celebrate 20 years of sobriety on Saturday, and it has been filled with losses, grief, a broken heart more than once. But the God of my understanding has given me courage to share my story with anyone and everyone—even my high school seniors at school. The stigma has got to go. And we need to invite God in to give us the help we so desperately need. There are 12-step programs for people on both sides of any addiction and the codependency it creates. I can’t do this myself. I must have human support and reliance on a Higher Power. God bless you on this continued journey and keep writing—it’s so powerful!
Beautiful and heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for everything your family has been through. I hadn't thought before about the impact of work on first responders' mental health. Thanks for raising awareness.
Thank you for reading and for your encouragement Faith ♥️
Thank you for sharing your story. I have seen you on TikTok too. I lost my Dad to suicide when I was 2.5, my older sisters were 6 and 7. My Dad was a psychiatrist. He also had a difficult childhood and then a job where the pressure is high, and you see so much trauma. My teen years were extremely difficult… the questions, the anger. I really relate with both yourself and Chloe. I am so sorry you have lost both your wife and your daughter. Thank you for sharing your pain so openly and honestly with the world.
Thank you so much and I'm so sorry you l lost your Dad. Can I ask how you're doing today? ♥️
I’m good today. The last couple of years have not been easy, but I have a lot to be grateful for. I’d love to share my writing with you- https://open.substack.com/pub/clarebachmann/p/my-motherhood-carries-a-lot-of-scars?r=1asl4n&utm_medium=ios
I wish there was a key to unlock the human mind and fully understand ourselves. How on earth can we ever understand suicide and it's impact on loved ones. I wish you and your treasured daughter well and a good life ahead
You and me both Frances. Thank you so much for your well wishes. ♥️♥️
Thank you for feeling such a painful story of what you’ve all lived through. Deepest compassion for you all.
Thank you Helen ♥️
I cried a lot reading this- I can understand people's loss for words- because what can one say to someone who has been through such heartbreak? Thank you for adding your voice to the world. Men need you. We all need you. There are so many people at a loss as to how to survive/be when grief comes. Sending my love from Cape Town 💜💜💜
Thank you so much for your compassion Georgia. Asking ourselves what we can say to someone who has been through such heartbreak is a question so many people ask themselves.
Sadly, too many people think the answers they come up with are woefully inadequate, so they say nothing. And the person suffering the heartbreak feels even more alone.
I think there a few simple things we can say:
"This must be so unbelievably hard." Then, be quiet and listen.
or simply ask, "Would it be too much if I asked you what this experience has been like for you?" And again, be quiet and listen.
Thank you for reading and adding your voice to the conversation ♥️
I really appreciate your ability to tell us your experiences. I always learn a lot when I finish your articles. Wishing you and your family the best.
So sorry for your loss
Thank you for sharing. May their souls finally rest in eternal peace. The traumatized server is something I also saw often in early education.
Thank you so much for sharing this. This has me and my husband in tears. It’s so rare to find people write openly and deeply about the most painful things a human can experience. Your writing will change lives.
Thank you, Madelin. I really appreciate you saying that. I learned a long time ago that being more open about our human experiences is a way to help other people feel less alone.
And the beautiful thing is that helping others helps me as well. So I will keep doing it for as long as I live ♥️
It was a beautiful and much needed opportunity for the fallen officers and their families to be acknowledge and in community.
Especially after so many years of isolation. ♥️