Some Lessons I've Learned So Far

I don't always do them well, but I'll keep trying

Cindy would have been 51 today.

In 3 days it will be 13 years since she died.

What's already a difficult week is much harder with Chloe's passing.

Instead sitting here crying, which I've been doing quite a bit, I thought I'd reflect on some things I've learned.

Maybe sharing them will help someone today.

- The foundation of peace is acceptance.

- Know the difference between what you can and can't control and focus all your energy on what you can.

- Always do your best and recognize that sometimes your best will suck. Be kind to yourself.

- When there are gaps in our understanding, we make up stories to fill them in. We get to choose those stories.

- Things can take a weirdly long time to figure out. That's ok - sometimes it takes as long as it takes.

- Curiosity is the opposite of anger

- The words we use don't describe our reality. They define it. Choose them wisely.

- You'll never hate yourself to life of meaning and fulfillment

- Beautiful gifts come from tragedy. All we need to do is have the courage to look.

- Every interaction we have with another human being is a chance to leave them a little better off in some way.

- Be grateful for what you had and have rather than angry about what you've lost.

- Experiencing darkness allows you to more fully appreciate the light.

- Grief is a painful, beautiful process of healing that helps build resilience and compassion.

- Anger is almost always a secondary emotion. Dig deeper to find what's below the surface.

- When you're raising a difficult issue with someone, start more of your sentences with "I"

- What comes after "I feel like" is not a feeling, it's a thought.

- If you are starting a sentence with, 'If only I had....", stop and ask, "What can I learn from..."

- Graciously accept help when it's offered. It's gift to you and the person offering it.

- Helping someone feel seen, heard and safe is one of the most important gifts we can give another person.

- When someone compliments you, say "Thank you."

- You're surrounded by people waiting for someone else to go first. Share a little more of yourself, even if it scares you.

- Whenever you're in a situation you don't like, look in the mirror before looking out the window.

- Say "I love you" instead of "Love you"

- Tomorrow is not guaranteed. All we have is now.

Love each other.