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Charles Kochan's avatar

Oh I know what you say is so true. I lost my 22 year old son in 2008 and have been in The Compassionate Friends ever since and a chapter co-leader. I have been immersed in this world of grief and can 100% validate what you have written. I always bring up the “I know how you feel, I just lost my dog “ situation for our newer members and it used to infuriate me. But I was talking to Alan Pederson who was a former leader of the National organization. He explained that TO THEM the pain seems the same as they imagine. So let it go, it’s toxic to get angry about. Alan wrote Tonight I Light this Candle. A beautiful song written for his daughter Ashley. It’s on YouTube. We play it every year at the annual candlelighting. Thanks for your ideas.

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Jason MacKenzie's avatar

I just looked up that group. I hadn’t heard of it. Thank you so much for sharing with me and I’m so sorry you lost your son. I’m proud of you for making a positive difference in the world after such a painful loss brother. ♥️♥️

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Charles Kochan's avatar

I also feel for your losses. You got hit hard. It sounds like you may be at peace, I hope so.

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Javier Mesa's avatar

Thank you for this Jason. 🙏🏼❤️

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Jackie Stavros's avatar

Thank you for the beautiful list of reminders and ways of being ... yes - choose curiosity over trying to control self and others. You are healing more than yourself by your impactful, thought-provoking writings. I pray for you and your family's healing, and you continue to do it with grace and growth.

With gratitude and love - Jackie

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